Someone whom I admire recently asked me that question. Ironically, what "good happened" in that moment was that I was resisting the urge to punch him in the face. I may have overreacted. Anyway, I have been having a rough day, week, month, year....And today I just wanted to give up. I went to the … Continue reading Sandy What GOOD Happened Today?
I seriously grew up Disney. I remember the 90s when Jeffrey Katzenberg cleverly butchered The Little Mermaid (my favorite fairy tale of all time) and saved Disney's bacon by regenerating old stereotypes and planted the seed for a new wave of Disney marketing madness. That is a different beast. When I was little, Disney was … Continue reading If I were a Disney Villianess
I just spent 48 flippin' hours at "THE LODGE". Holy Crap. Don't get me wrong. I never complain about being employed and I am always grateful to have a job. But two full on back to back "Clopenings" anywhere is a lot and my little geriatric Peyton Place was chock full o' drama this weekend. … Continue reading Rollin’ on the River
Well here I go again. I have to find another job. The sushi bar did not work out because blah blah blah boring boring. Lets just say that I'm a rocking waitress and an awesome neighborhood bartender, but that whole mixology thing with 15 cute martinis and 20 saki samplers at top speed not so … Continue reading Deja Fricken Vu
This last weekend was Pride and I have never been. And that feels odd because at least a dozen gay men are among my most cherished friends. I have been to Gay Halloween on Santa Monica Blvd. twice. That was nothing short of awesome. There is nothing more fabulous than a couple of thousand drag … Continue reading Get Your Pride On
This post is a a follow up to the post above, and was written a long time ago. Its a true story. Hope you enjoy it. The process of filling out a job application for me became like balancing a checkbook of lies. "Now, let's see, from January to March . . . no, make … Continue reading She’s got Bette Davis Eyes
I am having a really bad day. The sun is shining. People are out on the river boating and fishing. I am done with school for the term. My son is coming to dinner. And I feel like crap. And its all because instead of getting out in the sun or going to the river … Continue reading Silver Linings Playbook
Well the cute little blonde did not work out. And NO I did not kill her...God bless her soul she is alive and well and living in Tualatin. And now I have "Seth". Here is a semi-accurate portrayal. Just kidding. I'm not interested in men under forty. Under 30 is out of the question. But … Continue reading Room Mates Continued….
I'm studying for a math test. I hate math. I'm a waitress. My math skills are practical and simple. I can do simple addition in my head and I can figure out twenty percent of the bill in a millisecond, but I can't figure out how to type it numerically without Google. (Awe C'mon...you did it … Continue reading Fuck Math…..
I have landed a job at a Sushi bar. I have never served sushi. I do not eat sushi. Remember my pallet is a perfect match to a midwestern three year old? Remember the part where I said that most seafood smells like a dolphin's ass? Right. So I'm serving sushi..... Its ok. I have … Continue reading Its Fun to Say WASABI!!!! Try it…..