I Hate Clam Chowder or “We KNOW how badly you need to get laid”

I hate clam chowder. And not just because it is seafood mixed with dairy and smells like a dolphin's butt, but because I have been covered in it since I was 18 years old. My first job was at a steak and seafood house in Burbank California. It had five huge banquet rooms (two of …

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Don’t tell me what to do (Unless I’m naked….)

Oh my God its been a whole month....I think I once mentioned that blogging for me is not like riding a bike. It gets harder the longer I wait and then it becomes this looming task like calling a relative you've been avoiding. Then suddenly you find out they died. NOW look what you've done! …

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If I were a Disney Villianess

I seriously grew up Disney. I remember the 90s when Jeffrey Katzenberg cleverly butchered The Little Mermaid (my favorite fairy tale of all time) and saved Disney's bacon by regenerating old stereotypes and planted the seed for a new wave of Disney marketing madness. That is a different beast. When I was little, Disney was …

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Valentines Day (Because everyone needs a little VD…)

It is the 13th of February.  And Valentines Day is imminent.  Awesome. Don't get me wrong, I am single and I have a waitress' view of this greeting card debacle of a holiday. If you work in any restaurant with a price point above $25  a person, Valentine's Day is pretty comical. If the restaurant you …

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