Culture Shock

For someone who hasn’t really been told what to do in about seven years this is really culture shock. Everyone wants to tell you what to do. EVERYONE. And when you’re new, the former newbies move up in the pecking order and now THEY want to tell you what to do.

Bitch you are about to learn the definition of pecking order

I was never very good at being told what to do unless naked. As a general rule that is the only time it is advisable to even try. Even then you need to be pretty confident to ensure your health. And ordering newbees around at hyper-speed is pretty much the entire training process.

And imagine to my surprise (No. Seriously) I am NOT the biggest diva on this boat.  My new boss is a vision to behold. Imagine a dragon lady. Now imagine a Muppet dressed up as that dragon lady screeching at you from the front of a dining room that looks like it was decorated in 1962 complete with crystal chandeliers and fussy pea green high backed chairs.

Imagine this guy with huge gold rimmed glasses, red lipstick, and a throat adorned with 20 pounds of Gucci bling.

The first week was hell. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t take a crap. THAT took an entire week.  I feel out of my bunk. The girl sleeping under me offered me a bottom bunk. (She was apparently taught to respect her elders. )

I declined.
I am not that goddamned old yet.

Aaand all of this took place while working 11 and 12 hour days.

Wait! I was just kidding! Take me home please! 

Aaaaand the internet they promised me (along with the great money) is almost non-existent. but I am determined to document this journey. So it is going to have to be in short fits and starts. As we speak I have about one hour to walk back to the boat, finish laundry, apply my face, eat something. Late is not an option.



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