Casual Sex and Other Oxymorons

I ran off my lover and I’m pretty sure I did it on purpose.

It needed to be done.

Not sure this is funny, though.

Remains to be seen.

Neil Gaiman Quote
Hell is not somewhere you go. Its something you carry around with you. Neil Gaiman

It really sucks when you don’t get the ending that you imagine in your head.

I suck at alot of things, but handling heartache is truly my worst skill.

I think its because I am so unbelievably hard on myself that rejection just cranks that shit up like an amplifier turned up to 11.

Damn I love that movie.

ANYWAY.

Casual relationships are like communism. They look good on paper but they don’t work well in real life.

Because sex is not backgammon.

It is the odd person who can just let someone fuck them and high five until next weeks game.

Its intimate.

Its personal.

It involves exposing feelings, insecurities and body parts that you may feel ashamed of.

And when that first rush of lust winds down if there is no love or commitment to sustain it, that’s when things start going to shit.

Somebody is gonna feel some pain.

And unfortunately this time it was me.

I really tried to raise this thing to a level of friendship and trust that we could both live with.

Because we were not love, but we both needed a soft place to fall.

sad teddy bear
Hugs? Hugs would be good here…. If you give me a bath you’ll get a SPECIAL hug.

But unfortunately we both brought our bulshit with us.

There a dozen more practical and obvious reasons this man and I are not a couple, but mismatched bullshit is definitely on the list.

Anyway we finally came to an impasse.

And no matter how many times your friends tell you shit like endings are just  beginnings in disguise (blah blah blah…)

It still sucks.

And I am a big damn marshmallow.

So goodbye Pookie.

No hard feelings.

I didn’t love you but I needed you.

I didn’t think that was alot ask, but maybe I’m wrong.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

Sorry we didn’t get the ending that we wanted.

Warned you about monstrous ego, did I not?

Can’t see you anyway cuz I look like shit when I cry and for some goddamn reason I”m STILL getting fat!!

sandywinecheetohs
XOXO

 

 

 

 

 

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8 thoughts on “Casual Sex and Other Oxymorons

  1. Dave

    Wishing you the best Sandy. And hey, just for the record, EVERYONE looks like shit when they cry! 😉

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