Deja Fricken Vu

Well here I go again. I have to find another job. The sushi bar did not work out because blah blah blah boring boring.

Lets just say that I’m a rocking waitress and an awesome neighborhood bartender, but that whole mixology thing with 15 cute martinis and 20 saki samplers at top speed not so much. So my choice was to go to dayshift, (read: Cleaning and setting up for the night shift) or moving on. School did not permit this.

So…..I’m looking for another job in a state of mind that is approaching desperate.

This is not pretty.

Desperation has a very distinct odor. A dead skunk smells better.

dead skunk
I smell better than YOU!!!

And yet I know how to do this. I’ve done it before. You paper the city with your resume and your bestest smile and you follow up at places you might actually like to work. And I’m doing it, but it just sucks. Its like having a baby. God makes you forget how much its going to hurt until you find yourself knocked up and you have to do it all over again.

Awe crap…..Not this again……

So I had a fine dining interview today and I really botched it. I am reelly rusty. My current job couldn’t be easier if they put a cot and an IV full of heroin behind the bar.

“Hey Joe! Could you change the popcorn? I’m outside having a smoke. C’mon dude. I’ll show you my boobies.” (Just kidding. Joe’s married and we all know my boobies are still shrinking)

The manager at “Swanky Ass Fish House” asked me some rudimentary questions about wine and I realized that I did not remember squat.

“So Chianti is an Italian wine that starts out ok but finishes like a baboon’s butt.”

I may have to study a little before embarking on another upscale interview. But despite my humiliation and the distinct feeling that I should throw myself off of the freeway overpass on which I live, I kept going. I walked into one place that had a sign on the wall that read “Kids eat free on Mondays!”


No Kids! High end restaurants and low end bars, baby. I could and should do an entire post about people and their children in restaurants. But for now I will simply say please God no. Please. I beg. It would take a bottle of Xanax every shift just to keep me sane.  But I cannot afford to be such a snob right now. So I dropped off my resume and Lord help me I will even follow up.

I am not even bothering with the steam room. I can’t afford the gas. Its Top Ramen and straight up internet porn for me right now.



2 thoughts on “Deja Fricken Vu

  1. mariekeates

    Job hunting sucks. Hope you get something that doesn’t involve kids covered in food soon 🙂

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