Silver Linings Playbook

I am having a really bad day. The sun is shining. People are out on the river boating and fishing. I am done with school for the term. My son is coming to dinner. And I feel like crap. And its all because instead of getting out in the sun or going to the river or hugging a puppy, I went to see Silver Linings Playbook.  It was a decent movie. Don’t get me wrong. And this is not a review. Its just that I recently got what  I asked for and I ran him off because I am a big ‘ol chicken shit.  Sabotage Sandy strikes again.

The sky is falling you stupid bird!!!

Stupid bird….

Yes I did. Couldn’t help it. I am a disaster when it comes to men, and this one is tricksy. My navigational instruments just start spinning like a fly wheel where he is concerned. I have two voices in my head that pipe up when this man is around.

One of them yells “MAUL HIM!”

The other one screams “RUN!”

There are of course other voices in my head but when these two pipe up the others just start a betting pool. The odds are always on “Run” with me, but it was not the team I was rooting for.

just Sigh….So I was really in a bad mood and everyone I know was working or busy and I decided a dark theater would be the perfect place to lick my wounds. I spent years in Southern California and I forgot how truly annoying the sun can be when you’re in a bad mood. Its like being trapped in a Disney cartoon with a hangover.

Could you please knock it off? Just….Stop.
Y’all are making me a LEEEETLE stabby…..

So what  movie do I go see but a goddamn romcom. I almost NEVER watch romantic comedy. Some of them are cute I guess, and I’m not bitter or anything

(side eye) I just find them disingenuous. Seriously:

I can buy Elves and Orcs, evil wizards and time machines. You can have my suspension of disbelief for zombies, faeries or futuristic dystopian mutants.

But romantic comedy? That stuff’s bullshit.

Because everyone brings their bullshit with them into every situation. That is what we are looking for.

Matching bullshit. If you find someone that stirs your chemicals that is goddamn delicious. That can turn you upside down and render you useless for months. But in the end its the bullshit compatibility factor that wins.

Anyway I didn’t even think about it because this was sort of a romantic “dramedy” with a really great cast about two seriously crazy people trying to cope after personal tragedy. It was great. But then at the end this man who was bipolar and prone to psychotic breaks was just suddenly cured because of the amazing healing powers of true love.

Ok fine. Its just a movie.

But when Jlaw was walking down the street with her face all screwed up because she rolled the dice and lost, I was done. Two glasses of wine two pieces of pizza, too much sunshine and I was just out. Why the hell didn’t I go see Oblivion? Now my evening is ruined just because I hate Tom Cruise. I know he’s a decent actor. I just hate his “Tom Cruisyness”.

And I hate the fact that he is the poster child for Scientology.

That stuff’s bullshit…..


7 thoughts on “Silver Linings Playbook

  1. Pingback: Casual Sex and Other Oxymorons | The Captains Daughter

  2. mariekeates

    Men are tricky devils, rom com’s are subliminal messages to trick us into doing the cooking and cleaning and Tom Cruise is just too short to be taken seriously! Hang in there 🙂 you can send some of that sun over though

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