It is possible that the Roommate Saga could become an on going series. There is just so much material. But I found one, an awesome gay waiter in his late 20’s (Gay boyfriend problem solved) and we get along fabulously. We were advertising for a third when my roomy came up with a solution. One of his coworkers. She is a 23 year old perky blonde.
Someone shoot me. Before I shoot her.
I met her yesterday. She’s adorable. She looks like me at 23. Its REALLY pissing me off….
Don’t get me wrong, I never ever ever want to be an old woman jealous of a young one. I know those and they are almost without exception miserable and unpleasant. I just don’t know if I can live with a daily reminder of my waning cute years.
“You are soooo cool! You remind me of my mom! She’s really cool like you!”
(I’m not making this up….Bitch you are just not safe right now…..)
“Um no offense Sister. I am keenly aware that I could be your mother. If you do not want your beating heart ripped from your perky chest I suggest you not bring it up again.”
I of course did not say this. Luckily for us both it was not yet Happy Hour.
You know how I know? I am NOT happy…….
Maybe if I’m REEEELLLY lucky she and Eric will wheel me out once a week to play Bingo. I’ll grab my “crip sticker” so that we can get good parking and my AARP card so we can get a discount. I really really really need to be done with school soon.