Roommates (some people call it a sling blade…)

slingblade
I’m calling for my mother…mmhhhmm….I live in the basement.

If I want continue enjoying luxuries like full-time school, hairdressers, red wine, sleeping in a bed and eating regularly, I must rent a room.  So I am learning to speak  Craigslist:

Pets Ok!

Means I have six cats and my house smells like a urinal.

We are family here!

Means you will be sharing a bathroom with a bunch middle aged hippies and their vegetarian poo.

I am really laid back!

Means I am living on Welfare and I’m going to steal all of your food.

420 friendly

Means if you don’t smoke a shit ton of pot please go away.

So far the sanest nicest person I have spoken to was a transgender-ed man in his 60s who had an adorable tastefully decorated home. Unfortunately he wanted 600 a month for a room the size of a closet. Its too bad because I really need a new gay boyfriend.

Then there is Patty

I am a christian gal that works in the healthcare field
I have lived here for 12 1/2 years
I am active
Commute by bike and by our great transit system 
I am kind, caring, clean, responsible woman
Work and activities occupy much of my evenings and weekends
I have conservative values but not stuffy
If interested please call or text me.
Look forward to hearing from you. Good luck in your search
Best regards, Patti

Sorry Patty. I’m the devil. I would be forced to torture you for my own entertainment.

shoes

Then there was Slingblade who lives in his mother’s basement selling things on Ebay and doing “Security” work. He had to call for his mother because she doesn’t like women. That sounds like a real party right?

At this point sleeping in my car and showering at the gym is starting to sound perfect.

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4 thoughts on “Roommates (some people call it a sling blade…)

  1. mariekeates

    Eww, what a lot of wonderful choices you have there. Personally I’d torture Patty, sounds like too much fun to pass up to me! Good luck with the search, there must be a normal person in the USA somewhere surely?

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