All my Underwear is Black, Like my Soul…..

So tonight I played floor manager for my awesome Li’l Boss so she could go home and see her babies. I got my ass handed to me. It was straight out kitchen stuff. Short of learning to fry up razor clams there wasn’t a fucking thing I could do.  Two new kids in the kitchen as green as my gills at the sight of tuna salad. Tuna fish is disgusting. Its cat food. I hate cats. Ladies and gentlemen welcome to this episode of “Stream of Consciousness Blogging” on NPR I am your host Garrison Keillor.

 garrison-keillor

ANYWAY….people waited an hour or more for goddamn frozen razor clams.  This is stuff I don’t understand.  My palette is still stunted. To me most seafood is like slimy rubber that smells like a dolphins ass. It was taking over an hour  and everyone wanted the clams which David had to do all by himself. The dining room was fast becoming a cave of angry trolls banging their forks on the table. It was Lord of the Rings out there and I had to go in  like Gandalf and bang my staff on the ground and make some magic. To make matters even worse my current job is full of elderly people. Their filters are just plain gone. They don’t give a shit what the problem is or what you’re trying to do to fix it. They just want to tear someone a new a-hole.

oldman
C’mere young lady! I’ve got a long cane and I want to shove it up your ass!

I now have three of them. Its going to make bathroom brakes much more interesting. Thank god for the gym. Thank god for the steam room. I requested a stack of porn from the front desk but for some reason they ignored me…..

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