Today I saw my personal trainer. Goddamn he is cute! When I am a crusty old dragon I want me one of those. Seriously I haven’t gone for cheek bones in forever (I NEED to be the pretty one, remember?) But there is something about a cute “young” hot guy ordering you about on your knees that even gets to me. And I know its all bullshit because at work we are both a couple of PTs.
Sucker….yup. who cares I goddamn paid for it.
Some things are just worth the money. We had an awesome conversation in which he explained that my body was basically eating itself. Then he said the word osteoporosis which totally killed my boner. (He is forgiven) and then I spent a half an hour masturbating in the steam room. I can’t help it. Before I die I want to swim with dolphins and have sex with someone in the steam room.
Its not a lot to ask, Lord.
ANYWAY after a great session at the gym I went to see my friend Jo. Jo is a massage therapist, and an amazing spiritual healer. This is despite her disturbing anthropomorphic view of her cat. If anyone can hear that feline speaking in whole sentences its Jo.
I call her a Spiritual Fluffer.
fluffer [ˈflʌfə] n
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003
(Just in case you didn’t know)
You can call it bullshit if you want. That is seriously my inclination, but I know better. When you are done being saged and waved over with “The Bells and the Bones” you feel like a new person. I know this is getting all weird and metaphysical, but as I’ve just been metaphysically fluffed I can’t help it. I don’t mean to make light of what she does because it is unbelievably powerful. After seeing Jo I no longer feel an empty spot where my Chi should be.
So I guess this post is just a thank you. Because there is nothing funny about how a friend makes you feel when you’re down. And there is nothing light about a real friend who sees what you are through a haze of dramatics and bullshit. Thanks Sista. And yes I’ll work on your website (Jesus H….)