Ok….. Scary-ass date complete. This is a follow up to the post about the date that I took down because I am a big chicken shit. Fear of the Great Google is all powerful.
Captain’s Log: star date 1/07/13. Sub heading to this post is lessons I needed to relearn.
Some people should just wear red all the time. They should have a goddamn closet full of red shirts, ties, skirts and slacks. And just in case idiots like me don’t get the message, they should be required to wear red underwear. And of course with that information I would be instantly infatuated with every one of them. (Remember I said there is a reason I’m alone?) Luckily we never got that far or this would be tragedy instead of comedy. The message is that when a man tells you that he is counting the days from his break up, dont walk, run.
But did I listen? Do I ever listen? Awe hell….no.
Gee! Maybe I will be balm for his soul!
No sister. You will be a Band-aid.
When you are working in a bar it is a really bad idea to date your customers. I know that movies and fiction are rife with stories of waitresses who met their prince charming at work. There is actually a list of actors married to (very hot) waitresses. And of course there is always Pretty Woman, the ultimate working girl who snags a millionaire with perfect abs and cheekbones while strutting up and down Hollywood Blvd. wearing clothing held together with safety pins and duct tape.
This is not my experience. I am of course a special case in general with the social skills of an orangutan.
But there is more to my theory. When a man is sitting at a bar on a regular basis the reason is (other than alcoholism or a general degeneration of character) he is usually smarting from something. He is either dogging on his wife OR he just broke up with his girlfriend. And you are the girl who is paid to be nice to him and bring him things when he asks.
Like I Dream of Fucking Jeanie.
If you go out with him you need guard your heart and your ass. Especially if you’re a big marshmallow like me.
Is that really how you spell marshmallow? huh….ok. Anyway no big drama. He got all mushy with his ex over the holidays and they got back together. And now I get to see his smug over sexed ass at work. DO NOT date customers. Its also important to maintain an air of the untouchable unless you are comfortable being thought of as the ho behind the bar. I have an ego the size of a house. This is not an option for me.
But hey! The stress and humiliation of the holidays have left me 3 pounds lighter! Ten to go!
Now if you’ll excuse me I have to finish my laundry. Got a load of reds to throw in the dryer…….