Lost on my Birthday

I just had another birthday. The goddamn things come once a year whether I like it or not.  I know. Bad joke. Too easy. Kinda like: "So you're 29 again right?" No offense but STFU. I'm fully aware that even though I have officially entered the "For My Age" part of my life I still …

Its Fun to Say WASABI!!!! Try it…..

I have landed a job at a Sushi bar. I have never served sushi. I do not eat sushi. Remember my pallet is a perfect match to a midwestern three year old? Remember the part where I said that most seafood smells like a dolphin's ass? Right. So I'm serving sushi..... Its ok. I have …

Roommate Saga Continued……

I cannot even make this shit up. I am just trying to keep my sense of humor. God gave me one because he knew I needed it. And oh yes ladies.... God is definitely a man. I have met with one crazy woman in her 50s with an adorable cottage in a beautiful part of …

I Am Not a Real Woman Because I Hate Cats

I will never be a real woman and I will always be alone because I hate cats. Everywhere I turn especially on the internet someone is trying to beguile me with cute kitty pictures. Every woman I know goes just a little bit bat shit over their cat. I have had MULTIPLE cell phone video assaults by …