Culture Shock

For someone who hasn't really been told what to do in about seven years this is really culture shock. Everyone wants to tell you what to do. EVERYONE. And when you're new, the former newbies move up in the pecking order and now THEY want to tell you what to do. I was never very …

A Pirate’s Life for meeeee…..

Turning 50 makes you do weird shit. In my case it sent me spiraling down a rabbit hole of depression that made the year before look like an after prom pity party. I don't know how to express the life long frustration of battling depression. It has been written about extensively and eloquently by better …

The Dark…Goddamn the F’ing Dark

You know what is really hard about taking up a project (like a blog, or a painting, or any other right brained endeavor) after a long period of depression? The shame. I really miss my dog. That little SOB was totally shameless. I have been stuck in such a mire of self loathing and depression over …

Pocket Rocker

I am a really slow learner when it comes to men.I have been off the market for a long time and they are NOT like riding a bike.Especially in their 50s. And yes I meant that EXACTLY how it sounded.That is unfortunately my age bracket.And as lovely as they can be to hang out with, they …

Goodbye Fisher King. And thank you for EVERYTHING

I spent yesterday sobbing on and off over the death of Robin Williams. The whole country did. And even now I am pacing and sobbing because I have forgotten how to blog and I HAVE to write this. Please pardon me if this sucks a little. And I will try for once, to pardon myself. …

Casual Sex and Other Oxymorons

I ran off my lover and I'm pretty sure I did it on purpose. It needed to be done. Not sure this is funny, though. Remains to be seen. It really sucks when you don't get the ending that you imagine in your head. I suck at alot of things, but handling heartache is truly …

This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you…

Ok. I Haven't posted anything since last November. There are half a dozen drafts on my dashboard and at least a dozen more that didn't even make it that far.  I have a slew of excuses, the best one being of course is how the hell do you follow up an obit to the great …

The Captain Has Left the Building

So I was composing a post for my birthday (dark and inappropriate just like me....) when my brother called to tell me that our father had died. It was sudden. We didn't get a chance to say goodbye. We hadn't expected this but in hindsight we should have been more prepared.  But nobody ever is. …

Lost on my Birthday

I just had another birthday. The goddamn things come once a year whether I like it or not.  I know. Bad joke. Too easy. Kinda like: "So you're 29 again right?" No offense but STFU. I'm fully aware that even though I have officially entered the "For My Age" part of my life I still …

I Hate Clam Chowder or “We KNOW how badly you need to get laid”

I hate clam chowder. And not just because it is seafood mixed with dairy and smells like a dolphin's butt, but because I have been covered in it since I was 18 years old. My first job was at a steak and seafood house in Burbank California. It had five huge banquet rooms (two of …